A life…unsettled

 

 

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Its now 3:23am in the morning and I am still awake….the night time just suits me. I spent many an early morning in the dark crouching like a ghost waiting for a wild turkey to respond to my call. And to kill a wild turkey, you do have to become a ghost. My father taught me how to track and stay hidden so well I am and can say this with no hesitation, a predator. Hunting deer is much easier as they tend to come out in the open in fields. It’s funny when they are in the woods though and you catch that glimpse of them and of course hear them loud and clear. If  you have ever seen the movie “Hunger Games” she shoots a rock with her bow in the opposite direction  to  make the deer run out of hiding. I don’t use a bow, but throwing a stone works just as well. They are very keen on scent so literally you not only camo your clothes but your scent. You pick a good spot that makes sure the wind blow a certain way because when the wind blows it carries so many details. I also have spent many nights on the preserve camping and fishing. best time to hunt is near dark and fish too! The dark doesn’t scare me, it excites me. I have trouble sleeping every now and then and I find myself always going outside with my german shepard on a walk outside of the neighborhood towards the woods. My dog is a hunter herself, protective, and never leaves my side. (although I do not take her on hunts when home) she resides with me in charleston. She doesn’t need a leash and at night I can get away with it….people complain because she is very friendly unless you have another dog, then she is a nuisance. Now, if you are a man who is approaching at a  steady fast paced walk (not runners) she will turn into more like a wild bear. She is a white german shepard and has that 6th sense about people….some people she loves, tail wagging and all, but others….well she won’t bite but she will make you back the fuck up and fast. Anyhow on out night walks we stalk out this seemingly new land. The city of charleston is in the same state that I was born in but seeing as though I was born on the border of N. and S. carolina, the climate, landscape, plantlife, and insects are totally different. I’ve discovered there is quicksand here in the low country and the forest resembles exactly what the pictures of Vietnam look like. I have been to Indonesia with my parents (whole other story) and stayed for 3 years and the humidity and plant life here in charleston is JUST like it was over there. Humid, dry, and hot! But at night time when everyone is asleep, I slip on my womens camo I brought from home and explore with my companion, Lucky. We have found many weird and interesting things….I tend to stay away from any trails as they are there for a reason, and don’t want to leave signs we were there. I have found so many awesome hunting spots (too bad I can’t hunt) and some of the most interesting creatures of insects and spiders I have ever seen. In the night I am content. The air is cooler and I feel at one with the cover of darkness, with only the moon for light, which is plenty by the way! I sneak through the vines and wild palms with poison oak, ivy, and sumac literally everywhere!!! Luckily I know the d the difference and what plant to stay away from….and learning that lesson came with a price many times when i was young. If ever I lose my way, I can look up at the sky and my father taught me how to use the north star,big  and little dippers to track my way back. I do always carry a compass that my grandfather gave me also 🙂 It’s very rare I get lost especially with my trackingld skills and my dog sniffing out the trail home. During the daytime, I am a receptionist manager for a sales company, and starting this fall I will start teaching highschool world geography. Life gets really dull….there is no hunt here, and i miss it. Only traffic that makes me want to scream, and the monotony of …. t.welll……adult life. I am very extroverted but not a lot of ppl know what to exactly think of me. I’m different. I know that. I’m abrasive and almost intrusive.. .but don’t mean to be….its just society. I could sing or speak in front of thousands of people without even raising a heart beat or second thought. But when itaded comes to just the everyday average joes ….my forwardness seems to startle them. I know that God gave me a huge heart full of compassion for people and one day He will call me to use it….in fact I prob already have. I have a big heart and honestly in todays world thats a dangerous thing to have. Ppl will ktthnock you down, be cruel and rude for the slightest reason and so I don’t  have many friends….the ones I do have are more precious and rare than diamonds. The others….the rest….the society, the hustle and bustle people, the “i just want to climb to the to the top no matter who i hurt” just don’t go et it. I was raised with manners and to be nice to all people but my feelings can get hurt by the wickedness of city folks. I have had a really bad week and I have a habit of withdrawing deep deep within myself. I don’t speak, eat, or take interest in anything other than getting back to those hills, the roaring blue  in and the sacred safety they hold. My daddy told me he never met anyone more stubborn in his life except for maybe his mother who was a tough, hard woman raised high in the mountains near Devils Chair. She was 2nd generation Irish and I apparently inherited her most interesting and gossip worthy traits. when she died, I found her diary hidden when we were cleaning out the house and ran to the bathroom and read the whole thing before turning it over to my dad. She also longed for her home in the mountains and didn’t even know that there was a depression because they grew all their food on their farm and hunted for meat. I also found out that she too suffered with depression and had some dark entries about herself and how she thought about people. The most interesting thing was that her mother and father sat her down and told her a magical trait that transferred only to the women of the family. It was described as “the healing touch” …..apparently according to my family lore she had the ability to lay her hands on people and influence them to feel relaxed, happy. Not only that but if someone was in great pain she and her mother had the ability to lay their hands on a wound and it would heal 10x faster and even some wounds could go completely untreated and heal within a few days after being held and massaged by my great grandmother and grandmother’s hands. this is going to sound crazy but when I was very young I had a wart on my right index finger for almost a year. She saw it and asked about it and took me in her bedroom and we sat down on her bed and she took my right hand in both of her hands and  rubbed them for a few minutes….after she was done rubbing them she said, “now thats that. and don’t you think about it anymore because it will be gone and no need to worry for its appearance any longer.” I don’t care if you don’t believe me, but the next week at school on a wednesday, I looked down and it had started to turn into scar tissue, the wart was gone! there was a scar for a couple of months and then poof! gone! I swear it, and i’ll swear it to my grave. Now you wonder….do I have this magic? the answer is yes, but you would have to see it for yourself, and ….of course if you don’t believe in something, its possibility of it being true diminishes and no longer holds power. 🙂 I think this goose is cooked and I’m going to take a quick walk….almanac says sunrise is at 6:34am ….thats 2 hours to become a ghost and fade away into the jungle of ccharleston.

 

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A Handwritten Letter From My Father….these meant a lot to me

It was a Saturday night when he wrote this, around September 25, 2008. These are the truth and I will type them word from word. Back story, Father’s a preacher, with masters in music theory from University of South Carolina, my mother, teacher with a doctorate in Education from Furman University. They met at the same college I graduated from, but back then it was only a 2 year school. Oh yeah, and my dad owns a hunting preserve. It’s awesome. I love it.

 

sat night

Dear Mimi,

Thought of you all weekend. Hope you are happy. I hope you will get to come home soon by yourself and spend sometime with us. The woods are getting pretty now and the days much cooler! My time of year! I’m getting to hunt physically and mentally, but I fear my body is failing me, I’ll be ok, but my spirit, says “Lord!” His spirit guides me and call me to walk in the right way and I try. Though I fail some. Another verse from Revelation, “and they overcame him (Satan) by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony and they loved not their lives til death.” I want to be faithful in my life. Nothing else on Earth is worthy, or relevant in the end. I pray you and Justin will be drawn close to God and you will hear His still small voice calling to you. You are so young and have much life and vigor to offer to The Holy Kingdom. Say, “Here I am Lord!, use me, send me, fill me!” Please come asap. I love you- you are still my girl and I need you, Mom needs you too. Well, I’ll go to bed now. Hope you have a blessed week and experience the Lord’s  blessings and presence as never before!

Love you from here to there,

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