I have a husband who, is depicted as an ass in a lot of my posts but people I’m here to tell you I have tasted love because of him. He smells of it. You can smell that he is in love with me. No matter what I’ve done or do he is always there for me…..he knows in his heart that I love him too. When he touches me I get sparks and shivers as if I know I ought to know better, to become better…..to be normal. I believe all he wants is for me to be normal. We fall in and out of love and its always the same damn problem: ME. It hurts to know that he loves me so much and I know in my heart of hearts deep within me I have a roaring love that wants to crash into him harder than earthquakes can cause tsunamis’. This is why I am tormented with my disease but because of him, somewhere, again, deep within me I know I won’t always be so dangerous. I picture him as a lion tamer at a circus. He certainly lives within a circus because of me and I can not be tamed, I can only be calm. He creates in me the calm before the storm. Don’t let go I scream, as the winds whirl around me violently and I’m screaming and screaming…..don’t let me go.