The morning had a name and its name was Ruse.

The morning whispered my name and i awoke completely. He lay sleeping beside me. He looked beautiful and frightening while the mid morning sun bathed him in rich ethereal light. It was beautiful. I rolled over on my side and he stirred the bed. His arms found my body and he enveloped me. It was quiet. For that quick second the world was warm. The sweet sweet moment of forgetfulness that sleeps spell casts so crruely. The worries and realities of pain that are dealt with during the rest of the waking hours are not yet upon the mind and the serenity of ignorance brushes soft on the mind.  His hands wentbup my shirt and cupped my breasts. I ached for him so he turned me over and made love to me. I felt accepted and assured i belonged. It was cruel. It was cruel because my mind was stunned and frozen in the so few moments of bliss….normaility…the sweetness of belonging and, again i say normal. Everything was gonna be okay. I was gonna be okay and life would make sense the rest of the day. How tricked i was…..i got up and made cinnamin rolls and my phone rang. Weird i thought because i was not frequented with contact directly. But LO and Behold it was a friend….a brave girl that hadnt apparently caught on that i was alien to the rest of the norms. I was glad to hear from her and she wanted to stop by for lunch. How pleassant i thought. Today was bending for me! My husband planned to get pizza for us. I wanted to tell my friend the accounts of the trip to the hospital esp since she was in to medicines and had even brought me a gift of something that the absence of the two small capsules on the yesterday had left me crumpled. She takes the same magic i do so it was a nice gesture. This particular magic will save someone like me or her from panic, seizures and cardiac arrest. I was so deceived by my mind. I was numb to weirdness or danger on my radar. My beautiful lover and my friend then became hive minded and formed an alliance. They were feeding into their own stories and making absolutes about me. They pulled up embarrassing immature choices i had made from two years back to solidify their front. I fell lower and lower into the darkness trying to tell them im different now and those issues were now won over. My soul awakened and pleaded and cried for them to hear me. I was being framed by my friend and lover for crimes i no longer took part in. I cried and writhed with projections of myself and i had the truth. But it did not matter the more my soul struggled the tighter their lie became, cutting off my air and overcoming me. It took me down on the floor and i laid there giving up because i had to save strength…so weak from the events yesterday….so i became hollow and defeated. My spirit now broke i silently and painfully was put back in the bed where i now lay from the event. My beautifully dark lover, my husband….kissed me, told me everything was going to be okay and placed magic by my bedside to calm me..while he drove away to visit his normalities and friends…the medicine still sits on the table as i stare up and out into nowhere particular wandering what the cause was for life to entertain me with cruel tricks and games as children would play. I now lay here, from  where the ruses took place.


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